Final Thoughts: Words

What a fascinating month for me. As I mentioned on the other blog, discovering I was still saying “no” and “don’t” to my children more than I wanted to was quite illuminating. Actually, it was more like a shock. I also became acutely aware of the soul-shrinking power those words have both on my children and upon hearing them out in the world. Now I know those words are necessary at times, especially when safety is concerned. It is just that somewhere along the line, some of us began to overuse them when it isn’t even necessary. Do you ever say no only to change your mind later? If you had stopped to think about it in the first place, you might not have said no at first. Do you find yourself following the party line at work and saying no just because that is what you have been told? I am curious if it was kids that took me over the line or if I always used the words too much and it was my desire to be a more loving and compassionate mom that brought my consciousness to it. The good news is, I am on the road to positivity!

Words: The Power of Words

“The words we say do matter and they resonate powerfully within our bodies.” (-Gormukh Kaur Khalsa, an internationally-renowned yoga teacher and author)

I have recently begun to understand on a much deeper level the effect our words have on us. Recently I have been studying the work of Masaru Emoto. Mr. Emoto used high-speed photography to discover that crystals formed in frozen water are affected by our thoughts, words, and feelings. From what I understand, he simply labeled containers of water with various words, positive and negative, then quick-froze them and photographed the crystals that formed. The results are nothing less than truly amazing and life changing.

The crystals formed with words such as hope, love, gratitude, peace, harmony, are incredibly beautiful, jewel-like crystals. Those crystals formed with words such as "no good", "you fool", "do it", hate, fear, etc, are grotesque and almost nightmarish crystals.

Now translate that information to your body. You are around 70 percent water. Let me again repeat the quote for today: “The words we say do matter and they resonate powerfully within our bodies.” What do the water molecules in your body reflect?

Check out more of Mr. Emoto's work on his website.

Finally, you can learn more about his research through his books:
The Hidden Messages in Water
The Shape of Love

His work is also discussed in the movie What the Bleep

I always knew words were important. I listen to the negativity often used in the vernacular in our society and I know how much it affects me. Choose differently. Mr. Emoto's work will change who you are through the language you choose. It is powerful and wonderful!

Word Residue

Judith Lasater once said, “When we are fully present, we have space between action and reaction and can choose our response. We all leave residue with those with whom we interact. With space, we can choose the residue we want to leave.”

That quote has stuck with me ever since I heard her say it. Somehow, knowing that an interaction with me can affect people long after we are together – and can affect others in their life, makes me want to be more conscious than ever about what I say and do with others. I had been aware of this idea before Judith said it, but using the word “residue” made it more poignant for me somehow. I envision the residue as either a sticky, gluey feeling they can’t seem to wash away (negative interaction) or a lovely aromatherapy scent that feeds them gloriously for days (positive interaction). I so want my residue to feel glorious!

The process of creating glorious residue has two steps. The first is filling my life with more calm so I can have the space in my interactions. The second is making better choices in all the areas in my life that create more positive “stuff” in me. This step includes learning how to communicate more effectively too.

Words: The Negative Words Habit

Often the negative words we use are merely a habit, something we learned to use along the way and continue even though the word may not convey or represent what we are actually feeling. Unfortunately, using the word, even when we don’t actually mean it, still lead to negativity and fill the negative well within us.

I had a coaching client with whom I spoke this week who had a challenging week. She kept referring to her week as the “whirlwind of her life”. You could hear the feeling of the whirlwind in her words. Yet, I have known her long enough to know that she doesn’t really feel her life is chaotic all of the time, she was only referring to two challenging days, yet the way she described it, I felt as if she was in constant chaos. When I mentioned it, she realized that the word just came out from habit. She rephrased to “I had a whirlwind of a week” and instantly felt better (at lease we had limited it to a few days and not a lifetime!). I then rephrased again to “Well, that was an interesting week!” That got a giggle from her, a sign of even lighter vibrational energy around it. We had a winner! Even though she may not have meant the statement (she really didn’t see her whole life as a whirlwind), the words affected her. They kept her embroiled in the chaos of the week.

My “buzz” word from childhood is “worry”. My mother is a wonderful worrier, she has perfected it to a science. When one thing she is worrying about turns out okay, she sometimes even says “now what am I going to worry about?” “Worry” was an oft used word in our house. We frequently used the word “worry” when we really meant “think”. As in, “Now I need to worry about dinner.” Were we really worried about dinner? No, we just needed to turn our attention to it. I have also caught myself using the term from habit. Interestingly, even though I am not really worried, just using the term brings worry to my system. When I rephrase and use “think”, I am much calmer. It seems like such a little thing, but it makes such a difference. It is especially important to neutralize the word in your system by either rephrasing right then and there.

Another word I notice used incorrectly in our society is “anxious.” People often use it when they mean “excited”. “I am anxious for our vacation.” “Anxious” comes from “anxiety.” Even when you think you are feeling excitement, using the word brings a touch of anxiety into your system.

Words: Powerful Rephrasing

There was one comment that came out of the teleclass that has really stuck with me. I think, in part, due to the simplicity of it. This story demonstrates the power of changing what may seem like an insignificant negative thought.

This woman was working in her garden very much enjoying being there and taking care of her plants. Then a thought popped into her head, ‘I have to go inside and cook dinner for my family.’ She said she immediately noticed the thought and its negativity. She also realized that it was indeed time to stop what she was doing and go inside to prepare dinner. She rephrased for herself, ‘I choose to go inside to prepare a nourishing meal for my family.’ She said the shift was palpable in her body and in her heart. Although she still realized she would prefer to be in the garden, her statement turned her thought from a victim mentality “I have no choice in the matter” (which may lead to resentment among other negative emotions) to making it her choice and that made all the difference.

This story brings up two ideas for me. As I alluded to in the beginning of my entry, this seems like such a little thing, yet it made such a difference to this person. I am sure it also shifted her intention as she cooked, thereby infusing the food with more love and attention. Perhaps she was also able to share more compassion with her family instead of resentment or irritation. Perhaps it shifted her thoughts around cooking at other times too and maybe she feels better now about cooking when she would rather be doing other things. Do you see where this is going? The power of a little thing...

The second idea is around rephrasing. I mentioned in the Module that taking the time to rephrase something that you have said that you wished you had said differently will change the negativity into something more positive. Rephrasing will also help you bring more attention to it should the same situation arise again. On one of the calls, on participant realized that rephrasing works with things you say to yourself as well. Yes! As our gardener realized in this story, rephrasing is powerful whether it is out loud to another person or in our head to ourselves.