Friday, September 15, 2006

Words: The Negative Words Habit

Often the negative words we use are merely a habit, something we learned to use along the way and continue even though the word may not convey or represent what we are actually feeling. Unfortunately, using the word, even when we don’t actually mean it, still lead to negativity and fill the negative well within us.

I had a coaching client with whom I spoke this week who had a challenging week. She kept referring to her week as the “whirlwind of her life”. You could hear the feeling of the whirlwind in her words. Yet, I have known her long enough to know that she doesn’t really feel her life is chaotic all of the time, she was only referring to two challenging days, yet the way she described it, I felt as if she was in constant chaos. When I mentioned it, she realized that the word just came out from habit. She rephrased to “I had a whirlwind of a week” and instantly felt better (at lease we had limited it to a few days and not a lifetime!). I then rephrased again to “Well, that was an interesting week!” That got a giggle from her, a sign of even lighter vibrational energy around it. We had a winner! Even though she may not have meant the statement (she really didn’t see her whole life as a whirlwind), the words affected her. They kept her embroiled in the chaos of the week.

My “buzz” word from childhood is “worry”. My mother is a wonderful worrier, she has perfected it to a science. When one thing she is worrying about turns out okay, she sometimes even says “now what am I going to worry about?” “Worry” was an oft used word in our house. We frequently used the word “worry” when we really meant “think”. As in, “Now I need to worry about dinner.” Were we really worried about dinner? No, we just needed to turn our attention to it. I have also caught myself using the term from habit. Interestingly, even though I am not really worried, just using the term brings worry to my system. When I rephrase and use “think”, I am much calmer. It seems like such a little thing, but it makes such a difference. It is especially important to neutralize the word in your system by either rephrasing right then and there.

Another word I notice used incorrectly in our society is “anxious.” People often use it when they mean “excited”. “I am anxious for our vacation.” “Anxious” comes from “anxiety.” Even when you think you are feeling excitement, using the word brings a touch of anxiety into your system.