Media: Postive Media

I have had more comments about people who choose certain media for their positive effects, in particular intellectual stimulation. One person chooses specific NPR shows and another uses podcasts to select only what she wants to hear. Ron and I watch almost exclusively PBS in our house. What I like about PBS is I am able to choose shows that have a positive message, I am intellectually stimulated and I know that I can count on the "commercials" being violence free.

But I do stand by my previous entry in which I mentioned that all media affects us. One of my favorite television show is Nature on PBS. While it is a truly educational show, I am still affected by it. I know I am. I become attached to the animals they are showing and am distressed when something happens to them (which frequently does in the wild.) But I want to know more, I want to learn more about the wild. I am fascinated with wild life and want my children to learn more as well so it is something I choose to watch.

This thought leads me to my final thought on media. I am not espousing not participating in any type of media. We live in an inter-connected world and we need to live in that world. I am saying we need to pick and choose and be aware of what we are exposing ourselves to and its affect on us. Everything affects you some how in some way. It touches your heart by either adding to it or taking away from it. Just be more conscious. Know this area is a relatively easy one to shift when you need to tip the scales more decidedly to the positive in your life. (Say, for example, when your challenging relative comes to visit or you have a performance review with your boss.) When I discuss media with people, I find many become defensive, supporting their news show or CSI telling me, convincing me, that they are enjoyable and add to their life. I am not telling you to stop watching. I still read my mystery novels. I also know there are times when a mystery novel is not what I need.

Media: Neutral Media

Is there such a thing as "neutral media"? I ask this question because on the calls, I heard several times people say, in reference to the media they use, "but it doesn't affect me." I also heard Ron and I say the same things about what we do. Interestingly, we all said this about media sources that were anything but neutral. For me, it was about my mystery novels, which, as tame as they are, are nonetheless about murder and mayhem. I don’t think anyone of us would consider murder neutral. Just because we are not aware of the effect, doesn't mean it isn't affecting us. Even if the content truly is neutral (my example was watching golf), it stimulates thinking that is far from neutral. I get excited and frustrated right along with the golfers. Of course, our stimulated thinking can also be positive, but it isn’t neutral. Think about it in your own life...

Media: Fasting

Something I (Laura) noticed on each call was that those who actually did some level of media fast each had a new awareness around how much the media was affecting them. Those who didn't do the fast felt that the media wasn't affecting them (or at least not as much.)
For those of you who have never done any kind of fast (media, food, etc.), I highly recommend them. Fasting is taking a break for a specified amount of time from something. We then allow our bodies, minds, or spirits to heal from the affects of that substance. Fasts are extraordinarily helpful in making us more sensitive to subtleties we did not notice. If you listen to the news every day, you are accustomed to how the news leads you to feel and therefore it feels “normal”. I was accustomed to how dairy made me feel since I ate it every day of my life until I was 35 years old. Interestingly, when I couldn’t eat dairy because Zack reacted to it, I did feel better, but I didn’t really notice I felt better until I ate dairy again and felt the same icky feeling. The feeling felt so familiar! It was then I realized the true effect dairy had on my body and how lousy I had felt for so many years – and that was more “normal”. I had no idea how wonderful I could feel! Fasts help you feel the good you didn’t even know you could feel.
If you haven't tried the media fast, do so now and let me know what happens for you.

Media: Escapism

Here is a quote that came from a participant last year when we were discussing positive media. “These to me are the type of media that actually help me or stimulate my intellect. There is a fine line, though, between what is helpful and then what is then truly avoiding and escaping my time away. Quite a bit of our culture is about escape rather than being in the moment and dealing with reality. This is a huge exercise for me everyday to stay present.”
She went on to comment that when she is, "over the top with my schedule and my limits I have more of a need for escapist tendencies."

Escapism is a topic that came up frequently on the calls; people using the media as a form of escaping from challenges in their lives. (Laura: What was especially interesting for me with challenges is they could be huge, a relationship that needed ending, or tiny, trying to decide what to have for dinner. We often need to escape at many different levels.) The three main forms of avoidance media were tv, internet, and novels.
What we discovered is that escapism is one thing if it is truly for entertainment. It felt like quite another when it was to avoid something that needed to be handled, an emotional issue, stress, some sort of procrastination. We decided when we use media that way, we just feel worse when we are done. We also discovered that the escape was unconscious, we weren't aware we were in active avoidance. With it in our awareness now, we decided that there were much better ways of using our time when we are struggling with something that will leave us feeling more compassionate with ourselves and others.

Media: Quotes from Participants

And yet another quote: "Even though TV has a relaxing or numbing effect when you watch it, I find that it creates anxiety. The anxiety is kind of the TV hangover :-) If I watch TV before going to bed, my mind is assaulted with commercials that include extremely violent images like murder, assault, rape, child abuse, etc. They are usually preview for shows that I would never watch. Unfortunately, when I try to go to sleep, my mind is filled with restlessness and anxiety. I often toss and turn all night. On the other hand, if I do not watch TV before going to bed, I sleep peacefully and wake rested. I have never understood how people could fall asleep in front of the TV - but the newsletter you sent really clarified that for me. It is all about learning healthy ways to self-sooth."

Media: Quotes from Participants

Here is another quote from a participant: "I am adding on to the comment from last week. I, too, didn't feel the Media month applied to me. I do watch tv but I had never been aware of any effect on me. I always enjoy my 'veg time' as I call it and I only watch sports that, to me, was neutral. I especially thought of it as neutral in comparison to television news and shows about murder. Last week's note nudged me to pay more attention to the thoughts my sports' shows stimulated. I found myself so irritated during one game, I actually snapped at my husband."

Media: Quotes from Participants

I decided to pop these quotes into the blog because I thought they were excellent insights for these people and many could gain insights from them as well. Enjoy!

“I didn't think this month was one that would apply to me. I don't watch the news and hardly every watch television so, honestly, I didn't even participate in the assignment. You mentioned that there are many sources of media besides the t.v. I realized that I read books -- lots of books -- and most are not positive in nature or inspirational. I will pay more attention to their effect on me.”