Love: The Source of All Violence

Intrigued? I had a wonderful discussion group last week during which we discussed anger and its derivatives. One participant said she had been pondering the source of all violence. She, herself, had experienced a considerable amount of anger in the past year and she was wondering if there was a connection between the source her anger and the source of all other types of anger, from a simple irritation to the wars between nations.

Many ideas came out of the discussion. One person thought about attachment. Much of our violence stems from an attachment we have to land, material goods, and, even more so, to our ideas and beliefs. We hold strong and feel threatened when another has another idea.

Another participant considered a lack of self-love as a source of anger. If we can’t love ourselves, we cannot love and respect another. And, remember, judgment is not love. When we are judging ourselves or another, we are not in a loving space.

Still others considered hopelessness and helplessness as a source.

Then I came across this quote from Donna Farhi that seemed to encompass everything we were saying:

“[What we need to restrain is] ...our inherent tendency to see ourselves as separate. It is this inherent tendency that causes us to act outside our true nature. When there is an 'other,' it becomes possible to do things such as stealing because we falsely believe that what happens to another is not our concern. But when there is a sense of unity, who is there to steal from but ourselves? When we feel connected to others, we find that we are naturally compassionate, [and] 'non-harming' is not something we strive to be but something that we are. We see the essence of ourselves in the other and realize that the tenderness and forgiveness we so wish to have extended toward us is something that all humans long for." (-Donna Farhi)

We definitely feel negative from attachment or a lack of self-love or helplessness and hopelessness, but a feeling of oneness underlies those issues. If you feel the unity of all you act in your true nature. Your true nature is full of self-love and completely unattached to things and ideas. Your true nature never feels hopeless or helpless because it knows you are neither hopeless or helpless.

Strive to connect with others and notice the compassion flourish in your heart.

Fear or Love?

We are reading the Magic Tree House series of books to our children. They are wonderful fantasy books with lovely lessons in them. In the latest one, Merlin the Magician tells them on their next mission to “be sure to answer the question from love not fear.” They then face a frightening sea serpent who asks them a question. The question has two answers to it the one that comes from fear is their first inclination, especially with the scariness in front of them. But then they remember Merlin’s advice and come from love. Interestingly, the serpent turns out to be a friend, someone who was scary just to protect himself.

I loved that lesson and have been thinking about it ever since. I have found it quite interesting how often a quick response to something (almost anything) can come from fear rather than love. When I am aware enough to notice it, I stop myself and shift to love. The response is much different from a place of love. I have also noticed how much I change what I am seeing in front of me when I am coming from a place of love. Suddenly it isn’t so big and definitely not as scary. My heart opens to compassion.

Love: So simple

I would like to continue on my thought from last week, being able to accept love. Being able to accept love gives others an opportunity to give and increase their love. Of course, receiving the benefits of giving love isn’t contingent upon others accepting your gift. It is much more satisfying, though, to give when the gift is received well.

So, here is my thought. This example is so simple it is almost silly, but it represents the idea so eloquently. How does it feel to you when you thank someone and they respond, “ah forget it. It was nothing.” Compared to someone who looks you in the eye and sends you a heart-felt, “you’re welcome?”

I was at the library the other day and someone held the door open for me. Because of this Module, I have been very aware of my thank yous. I sent the person a heart-felt, “thank you” instead of the usual “thank you” that is more rote than from the heart. I actually caught the man off guard. He stopped and looked at me and sent me the warmest, “you’re welcome.” I knew in that moment that we had made a soul connection. It was powerful. I felt myself uplifted for hours afterward and I am sure he did too. So simple.

How do you receive “thank yous”? How do you send “thank yous”? Here is a wonderful opportunity to connect with others in love.

Love: Accepting Love

One of the main ways of expanding our capacity to love (and perhaps the only way) is to give love; to help others. Although we all “know” this in our heads, have you thought about one of its corollaries? Are you someone who has a hard time accepting help from others?

I had an interesting email from one of YLC participants. She told me how she clearly experiences love when she is helping others. She mentioned all sorts of ways she gains enjoyment from helping her friends and family and it is something she has always known about herself. She also knew that she has a hard time accepting help from others. There is something in her that keeps her from asking, and receiving assistance.

Her learning point for the month was realizing the effect of not accepting help on others. She is, in effect, robbing others of having an opportunity to expand their capacity to love. Interesting thought, isn’t it? When you think about it in these terms, perhaps it will be easier for you to accept help.