Final Thoughts: Communication

This month was intriguing for me and the teleclass illuminating. The essence of the month was separating your observations (the facts of a situation) from your evaluations (your opinion and feelings of a situation). So, I spent much of the month investigating my reasons behind negative evaluations (making negative assumptions or jumping to negative conclusions) and was intrigued by a piece I found that discussed the reason as low self esteem in the area of the negative evaluations. So, if you have low self-esteem in your parenting, you could easily jump to a negative assumption about an innocent comment your mother made (when she was genuinely curious if you had enough sleep). If you have low self-esteem in your cooking, you might make an assumption about a face your husband made after taking a bite (when he was just concentrating to remember what he wanted to tell you earlier today.)
I did find that I do have low self-esteem in the areas of my negative evaluations. That knowledge has helped me tremendously curb my negativity and spend my energy building my self-esteem!
On the call, we discussed another reason we might make negative evaluations, when our basic needs aren’t being met. If you aren’t getting enough sleep, are overworked, not eating well, etc., it is much harder to stay in a positive state.
Marya also came up with a great third reason. You can read it here.

Final Thoughts: Words

What a fascinating month for me. As I mentioned on the other blog, discovering I was still saying “no” and “don’t” to my children more than I wanted to was quite illuminating. Actually, it was more like a shock. I also became acutely aware of the soul-shrinking power those words have both on my children and upon hearing them out in the world. Now I know those words are necessary at times, especially when safety is concerned. It is just that somewhere along the line, some of us began to overuse them when it isn’t even necessary. Do you ever say no only to change your mind later? If you had stopped to think about it in the first place, you might not have said no at first. Do you find yourself following the party line at work and saying no just because that is what you have been told? I am curious if it was kids that took me over the line or if I always used the words too much and it was my desire to be a more loving and compassionate mom that brought my consciousness to it. The good news is, I am on the road to positivity!